You left the commune to work at IBM. You do what The Company requires of you, no questions asked. It's time to come to grips with what you are - you're a corporate whore! Tramp yourself around the office with this sleek and sturdy briefcase, made of matte black vinyl with silver metal accents and fittings.
Each briefcase measures 13.75 inches x 9.5 inches x 3.5 inches and has "Corporate Whore" printed on the sides in huge blocky letters that are only visible when viewed at certain angles. Pen and business card compartments inside, with ample room for shredded documents.